I have a list of movies that shouldn’t be (or shouldn’t have been) remade. It’s not a terribly long list, and I’m not angry about most of them (irritated is the more proper term), and I want to stress that these are my opinions and not those of everyone else. If anyone thinks I’m wrong, good for you. That’s the beauty of opinions. We can have so many. (Facts, on the other hand….)
- Citizen Kane. Seriously, do I have to give a reason for this one?
- The Ten Commandments. Charlton Heston is Moses. It’s even got Vincent Price in it.
- Dr. Phibes (both). Vincent Price. Can’t be duplicated.
- Tora! Tora! Tora! (Because we saw what Michael Bay did to Pearl Harbor.)
- Rocky. (Because Stallone is Balboa. It’s impossible to separate the two.)
- Smoky and the Bandit (Burt Reynolds and Jackie Gleason. Nuff said.)
- Blade Runner (Best sci-fi movie ever made.)
- 2001 (2nd best sci-fi movie ever made.)
- Any Monty Python movie (that goes without saying.)
- The Man with No Name Trilogy (as if they could remake those masterpieces)
- Escape from New York (you can’t remake it. Kurt Russell rules.)
- Big Trouble in Little China (Kurt Russell again….)
- Mars Attacks (too funny to re-make.)
- The Wild Bunch (do you have to ask?)
- Cool Hand Luke (same.)
Now, as far as I know, no one has tried to remake that list of movies. I hope that trend continues. Now for the movies that were remade that didn’t need it.
- Total Recall (terrible remake.)
- Robocop (what were they thinking?)
- Ghostbusters (This is the MOST horrible idea ever conceived. Remaking this masterpiece?)
- True Grit (John Wayne was not as good as Jeff Bridges, but the little girl was better than the psycho they got for Wayne’s version. And Glen Campbell out-acted Matt Damon and he isn’t even an actor! Matt Damon sucks.)
- Planet of the Apes (the reboot is good, but the remake of the original with Mark Wahlberg is crap. Total crap.)
- Conan the Barbarian (should’ve made another slant on the character and not went with the same name to avoid comparisons to the superior Arnold version.)
- Anything with Ben Affleck in it. Remake or not, he’s as much of a dolt as Matt Damon. Two idiots sharing the same brain.
I have no delusions that these are the final items. If you don’t see it here, chances are I either forgot it or liked the remake. 🙂